Decoding Kerala with a Brief and Whimsical Lexicon

In Fort Kochi, one can never be far away from a good meal, a story and a picturesque photo-op. These are epic tales of a God that resides in these parts and is sometimes benevolent and sometimes not. There are fishermen’s songs whose timbre matches the ebb and flow of the tides; tales of men with red and green faces whose dance chases away the nightmarish hobgoblins; stories of food that makes you weep with its aroma of love, loss and longing. These picture-stories are memory stamps of spectacular sunsets, a hundred shades of green, tinkling laughs and an everlasting romance with the backwaters...

A for Avial
Avial, a simple, steamed vegetable dish transformed  with freshly ground coconut and tempered with just a hint of mustard seeds and curry leaves. It is highly recommended that you eat avial as a soothing first course before the fiery spice-laden fish curries and pepper fries arrive. It is also recommended to eat this wonderfully fresh and flavourful preparation straight off a banana leaf with a mound of steamed rice and preferably a view of the serene backwaters. 

B for Banana
Surrounded by the swaying fronds of young banana tree and lulled into catlike contentment after gorging on flaky and tender banana fritters, it is hard to escape thoughts about the banana plant in Kerala. There is a single-minded obsession with the fruit as the people eat it as chips and chops, jams and jellies, cakes and candies. Grown in every backyard, big or small, eaten in nearly every form sweet or savoury, the banana is an omniscient presence and a familiar green stain along the whole coastline. The banana fruit carries with it memories like those of grandmothers making the delicious puttu for breakfast and the sound of the gentle waves of the narrow backwaters where rural country boats laden high with freshly plucked bananas, make their way to the local markets.

C for Coconut
Coconuts in Kerala are scattered all over the land. Nestled in sheltered boughs and protective fronds, these moon-like spheres come of age under the sun and by the sea. From a tender green fruit to a browned and hardened nut, their sweet water and milk nourishes the men and women of the soil. They form the mysterious quintessence of fish curries, pot roasts, avials, and custards. They reveal a glimpse of a kitchen in thrall of this all-purpose fruit that cooks and priests offer obeisance to.  

C for Chinese Fishing Nets
The Chinese went in two by two...hunting for the fish that had vanished from their own seas. They built giant creaking contraptions like the machines of Mordor. These nets were the scourge of the sea as well as the boon for starving fishermen. Today, they are silent sentinels of bamboo and net that are silhouetted against the docks. Their catch serves this quaint and historical erstwhile fishing village. In Fort Kochi, it is likely that every time you see the sign which says Catch of the Day, its probably found its way to your plate through the Chinese Fishing Net. 

K for Kathakali
The Kathakali dancers twirl in a frenzy of skirts and swords as they tell stories of gods, emperors and folk heroes. They bicker, growl, joust and dance. They are the immortals for the night that they spend on the stage, outside their body, their time and their context. They fence with papier mache sabres. The gods and demons who are stabbed and burnt as the story unfolds in a crescendo of drums and music. They collapse into a heap of red, white and gold. They live and die with their eyebrows puckered in surprise.

S for Spice Market
While the Spice Market had many treasures to reveal, it was home to the wonderful allspice, a miniature globe containing the whole world within its circumference. All the spices in the kitchen dropped their essence into this tiny, innocuous, mud-coloured ball and it bloomed into existence as the Queen of exotic flavours. This apart, the myriad coloured peppers, the rolled and aromatic cinnamon bark, the multitude of dried berries, each with its own medicinal and cooking instructions, a spice market in Matancherry, Kerala is an experience akin to walking into God’s own kitchen.

U for Uruli
Uruli, the light of my kitchen, the fire of my stove, my faithful cauldron of delight. Oo-ru-Lee...the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Oo. Ru. Lee. It is a cooking utensil unlike any other. With its versatile uses, its wide and deep-bottomed character and its ability to heat and cook food to that miraculously perfect temperature, this one merits being lugged across the world. 

V for Vallom
Vallom or the typical Kerala country boat is both livelihood and instrument of leisure. As the laidback life of the backwaters unfolds with each dipping motion of the vallom sluicing through the tranquil waters, one cannot help but settle into a peaceful self-reflection. This one is a ubiquitous part of the landscape from public transport to fishing boats, from a romantic honeymooning couple’s ride of choice to a local lad’s school bus.

This was published in The New Indian Express Bangalore on 15 January, 2015

The Giant New Year Street Party

The last day of any new year is celebrated with gusto across the globe and more often than not, the party is often taken to the streets. From the ancient times, celebrations were marked by large public gatherings. People cheering on in town squares festooned with lights and decorations suited to the occasion, fireworks and general goodwill doing the rounds. However, this year our celebrations are marred by a pall of gloom and an undercurrent of fear because of a world that is dramatically veering towards polarisation, a lack of balance and respect for human life and an increasing propensity towards violence. As the year draws to a close, I revisit the cities that have reaffirmed my belief in the indomitable human spirit which makes sure there are good times even when the going is not so good.

From mile-high curtains of fairy lights to the noise and sparkle of fireworks as the clock chimes twelve, from a multitude of heads bobbing to a countdown in glittery party hats to party whistles, new year’s eve in some of my favourite cities has been all about bonhomie in these large gatherings and a whole street doing a new year countdown. Nothing is quite as festive as  strangers, families and friends coming together in what seems like a giant metaphorical hug to the universe at large. There are a few cities of the world I have travelled to during this time and a certain joie de vivre prevailed that made them memorable in different ways. New Year’s eve gatherings in these cities somehow served as a time capsule for me, capturing the place and its people in one frozen moment in time.

Kolkata, the city that will always be home, is a city of revelry in the last week of every year. It is a city I yearn to return to at this time simply because of the frenetic energy with which it celebrates a festival that has little to do with its socio-religious fabric. Christmas and new year celebrations here have been given state sanctions with Park Street, the epicentre of festivities, dressed up in lights and festive banners sponsored by the government itself. I remember being a part of these celebrations since when I was allowed to venture out on the streets on my own. I remember  teetering on the broken pavements in my first pair of high heels especially purchased for the day. I remember being with friends, lovers and family on various new year’s eve celebrations on this selfsame street. But more than anything, I remember being one of a milieu which drew people from all walks of life. As long as you had a party horn and shiny headgear, you were welcome to join in the fun.

KL, the capital city of a predominantly Muslim country, couldn’t be more liberal and full of energy and camaraderie on new year’s eve. With the restaurant and pub-lined Bukit Bintang drawing in the crowds, I found myself among the expats and locals, the Asian, Hispanic, Black and Caucasian people, the young and the old-- all of us who had come together for that one night in a street party that just went on and on. Federation Square in Melbourne makes for a beautiful New Year’s eve celebration. With a massive fireworks display across the water and thousands of people who gather together to watch, it is quite a remarkable sight. My memory remains that of a newlywed couple kissing against sparkling pinwheels in the sky...an image that has remained etched in my memory, though other details of the holiday have begun to blur.

This year I am in Bengaluru, my first New year’s eve in the city, and as I plan to gather with many others at MG Road to usher in 2015, I too hope that it will be a better year for me, my loved ones and the world at large. As I walk under the glittery canopy of lights on Brigade Road, blowing on my bells and whistles, I pray for Bhavani Devi’s two children and hope they find the strength to deal with the tragic death of their mother due to the horrific explosion on Church Street three days ago.

This year I shall wish for more travel and a more peaceful world that enables it. My top destination for this year will be Kashmir and its stark beauty among all its war debris.

Today as I celebrate new year’s eve under the presence of police drones and patrols, I can’t help thinking how it is more important than ever to get out of our homes, parties and isolated urban islands, to go out and greet strangers, mingle and celebrate in one giant street party wherever you might be.

This appeared in The New Indian Express, Bangalore on 1 January, 2015

To Buy or Not to Buy, That is the Urban Vegetable Question

I live, like many other migrants to Bengaluru, in a well-guarded multi-storied bastion, keeping the rest of the world out. I also live on a bustling main arterial road and the nearest market is a good 20-minute walk, 20 minutes too long after a long working day. My early days in the city thus saw me heavily dependent on a well-known supermarket chain which has its outlet right within the campus of my building. While it is adequate enough for daily groceries, it is a disaster as a greengrocer. With maggoty fruits, holey salad leaves and bruised veggies, this was the nail in the coffin for my supermarket adventures which had started with a rat which jumped out of a shelf full of wilted spinach in a neighbourhood supermarket in Delhi. For me, that moment marked everything that was wrong with our so-called retail food boom.

I had grown up in Kolkata, going to the local market with my grandfather, where everyday's veggies were bought fresh from the vendors whose burlap sacks upended piles of fresh seasonal vegetables straight from the local farmers. There was no excess and there was no wastage from the seller to buyer and from the cooking to the eating. It was a way of shopping and eating that has become alien in our workaday lives. We now live away from our families and their expansive kitchens. We shop on weekends at chain stores, buying stuff for the fortnight and the food we eat comprises limp, half-frozen vegetables that are turned into quick and insipid curries.  

In my mind I was an old-fashioned sort. It is the early morning market visits with my grandfather which taught me that. I liked handpicking my veggies. However, as a recently grown up, working and married woman who had recently left her pampered home and hearth, these shopping rituals were hardly a luxury. From Delhi to Bengaluru, my experiences with local sabziwallahs have been complicated. As they looked at my discomfiture vis-a-vis veggies that I had grown up hating, they would give me withering looks. My naivete made me especially gullible to the vagaries of these men and women who would convince me of the seasonal freshness, the problems with the crops and the unfamiliarity with the local prices.

This is what drove me to a supermarket and its everything-under-one roof convenience. As I would move from aisle to aisle towards the vegetable section with my hope still afloat. Every single supermarket disappointed. Every fruit and vegetable on the shelf looked like it had travelled the breadth of the country fighting disease and deprivation till it reached this particular metal shelf—its chosen spot for its last breath. It was organic carnage. The potatoes had either turned green or into mutant flowerpots with little leafy stems. Tomatoes would burst into a bloody mess the moment I dropped it into my empty cart and once, I even saw a few little worms clinging to the plastic of the cling-wrapped Washington apples.

My local sabziwallah would set up his cart-shop ten minutes away from my apartment every evening from 5-9 pm without fail. I would return to that shop over and over with a woebegone face. I imagined him smirking as he imperiously tossed fresh-from-the-field veggies into my bag while charging me a premium and dismissing my arguments about the supermarket deals with a single "take it or leave it" look.
It is quite the conundrum, one that eludes a perfect solution. Bengaluru is a city of many choices from the exorbitant organic to the weekly farm-fresh produce in mandis at the other end of town. However, in all these situations, the idea of being an incompetent haggler in an unfamiliar language was as unpleasant as it is was a blow to the ego of a bargain hunter such as myself.

In my search for options, I often ended up at a bright, airy and air conditioned gourmet store sprawled across the top floor of a swanky city mall. The visit to this store ended up being weekend entertainment like visiting the zoo rather than a chore. As unfamiliar food and artistic culinary displays have a strange allure for me taking me to unknown lands on the culinary map. This particular store with its piles of delicate berries, smelly cheeses, exotic mushrooms and candied fruits, is my vicarious food trip across the world. Rare mushrooms, Mediterranean peppers and hairy tropical fruits jostled for space in this alien smorgasbord straight out of a Ridley Scott masterpiece. The end result, I purchase no useful staples that we can actually eat, but overpriced and useless exotica which sit uneasy in a good home-cooked meal.
Despite my aversion to aisle store fare, I do recommend its fair pricing. In the many veggie cons that have been pulled on me, most famous was the one where I went to a specialist Bengali market where I met a vegetable seller with the gift of the gab though and I was the recipient of the one standout sale he made that day. I bought a lau (a bottle gourd), which according to him had arrived that very day from Kolkata on the superfast train. And with such a narrative flourish, he sold us a `15 vegetable for more than five times its worth.

As I returned time and again to my neighbourhood sabziwallah, his grouchy face seemed to occasionally carry the hint of a smile. It was a less-than-perfect relationship. Yet, we learn to make do. And he always sold me the plumpest, reddest and freshest tomatoes which made up for my disillusionment with the pre-packaged "lowest price" supermarket rotters.

This appeared in the New Indian Express Bangalore on 29 November, 2014

The Travelling Bioscope Part II

I recently watched The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies and soaked in the beauty of Middle Earth aka New Zealand for the last time—from Turoa, Ohakune, North Island or the mythical and imposing Erebor to the idyllic Lake Pukaki which provides the stunning backdrop to the waterside village of Lake Town, the character of the films has been intrinsically tied together with the landscape of New Zealand, bringing this island nation alive in all its virgin splendour. The Hobbit: There and Back Again, the original title of the film marked the perfect journey of discovery and homecoming across this country, capturing its natural epic grandeur and preserving it on film for all time. This is the power of real and mythical journeys on screen. They imbue a land with an imagined history and drama, thus drawing you into viewing even a humble rock from a whole new perspective. A case in point would be travelling through Ramanagara, a small town about 50 km from Bengaluru on the Bengaluru-Mysuru highway, a completely nondescript sort of a place that you only pass through. Its only claim to fame are the ancient granite outcrops on its outskirts, another sight I would have bypassed for greener climes, had it not been for Sholay. The Ramadevarabetta formed the backdrop for iconic scenes from the film including the introduction of Gabbar, Hema Malini's memorable dance on broken beer bottles and key chase and fight sequences. For me these rocks resound with the sounds of Gabbar's classic dialogues and Hema Malini's ghungroos. This is but one of many points on a journey through various points on the celluloid map of the world.  

The Sideways Wine Tour (California)
This quirky and humorous story about two middle-aged men, Miles and Jack (played by Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church) is all about wine, great food, inebriated conversations, naked cuckolded husbands and fleeting holiday romances. Laden with high spirits and lubricated with good wine, this film brings to life the Santa Ynez Valley in Santa Barbara County with its mountains, lush rolling meadows, its expansive vineyards and quaint tasting rooms. The film piqued the interest of travellers and actually contributed to an increase in the tourism of the area. The famous Hitching Post II restaurant (Miles’ favourite restaurant where he meets Maya) actually exists and is a pitstop for most undertaking this tour. Apart from their excellent collection of wines, they also have quality meat, poultry and seafood grills. This apart, who can forget the celeb ostriches which show up in the film. The quirky Ostrich Land is home to these feathered bipeds and you can feed, meet and hang out with them just like our onscreen duo.

The Highway trip (J&K, Punjab and Rajasthan)
This film offers a fresh view of some of the lesser travelled paths on screen. Imtiaz Ali’s beautifully shot Highway, captures the sometimes pristine, sometimes chaotic and always colourful scenery as Alia Bhatt and her captors travel across North India in a truck. Far from the urban setting, this film dwells on the journey, the silences and often lets the backdrop emerge as the central metaphor in the film. As Alia Bhatt’s character breathes in deeply of the fresh air outside of her constrictive city life, she finds her personal freedom in the midst of her captivity. One of the most powerful scenes in the film include the nighttime shot in the monochromatic Sambhar salt pans in the Rann of Kutch where while attempting to escape, Alia Bhatt is overwhelmed by the futility of the exercise as well as the infinite night sky teeming with its stars overload. Then there are the stark snow-clad peaks of Kaza as well as the fairy tale setting at Aru Valley in Kashmir. The film makes us want to hitch a ride on the first truck leaving the city.

The Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara trip (Spain)
This film brought to life this Mediterranean country with its sun-kissed beaches, its plethora of churches, historical towns, cobblestoned paths, age-old traditions and colourful music and dance while showcasing some equally beautiful people (special note must be made of Hrithik Roshan and Katrina Kaif whose tanned and toned bodies made them perfect poster children for Spanish tourism). This slice of life film ushered in a very modern and urban Bollywood ethos spearheaded by Zoya Akhtar and also introduced a countrywide audience to obscure rituals like the La Tomatina as well as the Bull Run at Pamplona. With a great soundtrack and an easy vibe, the film did for Spain tourism among the urban youth what Yash Chopra had done for Switzerland back in the day. So much so that there was a reported 32 per cent hike in the number of Indian tourists to Spain in the first year following the film. Suddenly everyone was interested in the Flamenco and everyone wanted to visit Spain. Designed for the young and sporty, this trip traverses the coastal towns of Costa Brava and includes all the elements for a real life bachelor party/trip which mimics the one on screen.

This appeared in The New Indian Express Bangalore on 25 December, 2014

The Travelling Bioscope

While Raj Kapoor might have been the first Indian director to take his audience to foreign locales with Sangam in 1964, it was Yash Chopra who reinvented romance creating an everlasting association with chiffons, Swiss dales and meadows in full bloom. Ever since Rekha and Amitabh Bachchan immortalized the famous Kuekenhof tulip gardens in The Netherlands with the riot of colours and the magic of Kishore-Lata in Dekha Ek Khwaab from Silsila, this garden has been a highlight on the itinerary of a large number of Bollywood loving honeymooning couples from India. Apart from these gardens, this legendary onscreen pair also brought Switzerland home to the Indian viewer, beginning a trend which was faithfully followed by blockbusters like Chandni and Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge among a host of many other films. And thus began the Yashraj formula for sureshot success which fused the hero of the day singing hit romantic songs, actresses in chiffons cavorting on green meadows and the snowcapped Alps in the backdrop. So much so that that Swiss tourism tied up with Yashraj Films and Kuoni Travel Group in 2010 to create a customized tour called the YRF Enchanted Journey which takes travellers to different locales from the various films produced under the banner. While this one is perfect for couples, we take a look at a few other cinema-based tours that continue to fuel our imagination long after their last scenes have unspooled on screen.

Middle Earth  (New Zealand)
Peter Jackson’s award-winning trilogy brought Middle Earth to life in all its magnificence and glory. Great credit goes to the director for choosing New Zealand as the backdrop for the LOTR films as its natural beauty is quite unsurpassed. The film catapulted the country’s sights and sounds into the public imagination across the world as Lord of the Rings series went on to become one of  the highest grossing films of all time. Almost all parts of the country have different LOTR tours and can be customized to suit your interests. Some of the most breathtaking sights include the Tongariro National Park providing the stark landscape for Mordor with its central peak Mount Ngauruhoe as Mount Doom which is the figurative beginning and end of the ring. For those who want only the Middle Earth experience, there are the Hobbiton movie set tours which recreate the green splendour that is the shire, complete with the little hobbit holes, the Green Dragon Inn and the Party Tree where Bilbo does his disappearing act!

Amelie’s Montmartre (Paris, France)  
Amelie, the wonderfully quirky 2001 film, follows the travails of a dreamy young waitress through the charming cobblestoned paths of Montmartre. This erstwhile artist’s village is one of the most charming parts of the city, associated with the music of the Jazz Age, the impressionism of Monet, the genius of Picasso, the madness of Dali and the never-ending dances of Moulin Rouge. It is also the MontMartre of Amelie Poulain. From the metro station she used to take to the local grocer and butcher shops that she visits, this is one inexpensive tour that you could craft for yourself with help from the numerous online sites. A good place to end your tour is at Café des Deux Moulins on 15 Rue Lepic, the lovely, quaint and now legendary little cafe where Amelie is shown working in the film. Wrangle a terrace (outdoor seat) and treat yourself to a glass of wine and watch the laidback life unfold on the gorgeous Montmartre Hill.

The Feluda tour (Jaipur, Jodhpur, Jaisalmer and Varanasi) 
This one is quite the personal favourite. While following Feluda’s complete adventures could very well turn into a Bharat Darshan, a fan of the two Satyajit Ray’s films, Sonar Kella and Joy Baba Felunath, could follow this super smart private detective’s adventurous trail across four cities in North India.
Every Bengali’s much-loved sleuth from 21 Rajani Sen Road, Ballygunge, Kolkata, Feluda is Satyajit Ray’s immortal creation whom he brought to life with finesse in his films Sonar Kella and Joy Baba Felunath. While the films were continued by his son, Sandip Ray, it is Ray senior’s mastery over the craft that brought this Charminar-smoking detective to life with all the sharpness of his intellect. Soumitra as Feluda turned in a stellar performance which was equally matched by his young assistant Topshe, essayed by Siddhartha Chatterjee and the unassailable writer of thrillers Jatayu, played by Santosh Dutta. Together, they travel to various cities, encounter oddball characters from those places, find themselves in humorous situations brought about by the clash of different cultures and languages and solve great mysteries plaguing the people and police force alike. Follow the Sonar Kella route as envisioned in the dreams of the young boy Mukul and journey across the often surreal landscape of Rajasthan. A traveller can visit destinations including the Nahargarh Fort in Jaipur, the lesser-known Circuit House in Jodhpur and finally wind up at the marvellous golden-yellow sandstone fort—the Jaisalmer Fort. Travel by train all through and hope to meet characters as diverse as Lalmohan Ganguly, the writer of popular detective fiction and collector of antiques. For those attempting to get lost in the bylanes of Varanasi as depicted in Joy Baba Felunath, the film is the perfect map for the same and will no doubt take you to interesting sights and bring the city alive in a whole new way.

(This was published in the New Indian Express Bangalore on 27 November 2014)

The New Sartorialist

Even before the stroke of the midnight hour  when India awoke to life and freedom, her political leaders had already found their feet on the world stage as far as fashion was concerned. Certain political figures have stuck in our minds for the distinctive head-turning and individualistic styles as much as their ideologies or their theories on nationhood. Their looks have been emblazoned in the public imagination and spawned many copycats over time and yet, the panache, grace and sheer magnificence of these original style gurus remain unmatched. Thus Jackie Kennedy’s bouffant and oversized sunglasses, Nelson Mandela’s silk hand-painted ‘Madiba’ shirts, Margaret Thatcher’s pearls and power suits, Benazir Bhutto’s pop lipstick and headscarf, Indira Gandhi’s grey streak and more recently Priyanka Gandhi’s earthy and elegant cotton saris, Vasundhra Raje’s chiffons are but a few of the unforgettable signature style statements that have carved their place in the annals of fashion.
The Mahatma’s homespun Khadi went on to take Indian ramps by the storm in the 21st century and even ended up being the chosen garb for the powerful Jedi knights in the Star Wars films! As a symbol of Swadeshi nationalism, khadi kurtas and saris became the de facto politician’s uniform, making a strong statement and establishing the socialist agenda of dynastic heads.  
Jawaharlal Nehru was the political fashion icon of our times and his Nehru Jacket has revolutionised the world of Indo-western men’s fashion. His bandhgala, which evolved from the Mughal-style achkan, a fitted jacket with full sleeves and a single row of buttons down the chest with a short collar around the neck gave the jacket its name—the bandhgala. Add to this, the rose tucked into a buttonhole, the fitted churidar and the distinguished topi—it is little wonder that Nehru made it to Time magazine’s list of the top ten political fashion statements of all time.
In what is an ironic twist, Nehru’s true fashion progenitor is not his sneaker-wearing great grandson Rahul, but our newest Prime Minister, Narendra Modi who is a proud ambassador of India’s acche din as well as her fashion to a global audience. Resplendent in his bright yellow, orange and even pale pink half-sleeved kurtas and matching bandi (sleeveless bandhgala jackets) sets, stretched taut over his ‘56-inch chest,’ Modi is a man who understands the importance of a well-cut garment. The NaMo kurta is a reflection of his cult of the individual that has completely changed the dynamics of Indian politics as well as politicians on a world stage.   
From the early crisp saffron kurtas stitched at the posh Gujarat-based Jade Blue boutique to an elaborate wardrobe planned by fashion designer Troy Costa, Modi’s fashion spends and scope might have changed but his sartorial taste has remained ascendant. The pastel kurtas, paisley shawls, wine-coloured bandhgalas, rimless glasses, flamboyant pagdis, ethnic headgear and even an occasional cowboy hat is carried off by this often controversial and eyeball-grabbing figure with great aplomb. 
Although Nehru and Modi might be entirely divided on political, ideological and party lines, this ubiquitous Indian jacket brings them together. Indeed, with Modi’s appointment, the bandhgala is back on the world political stage with a bang. And its has got a new lease of life in its funky 21st-century NaMo avatar. 

(this was published in the New Indian Express Bangalore on 3 November 2014)

25 ways to discover the City of Joy

Kolkata, the grand doyen of the East, where history is a living, breathing root of the city, providing it the nourishment to limp through its not as glorious present. Kolkata, the city which nurtures art, culture, music and poetry and also sounds the death knell for commerce and industry. Kolkata, a haven for immigrants and refugees, from the handful of Jews and Armenians to the disappearing Chinese who made this city their nerve centre and established their culinary sway over India through their hybrid food. Kolkata, a city where Christmas is a state festival, celebrated with fervour and excitement -- a city that knows its Christmas carols and the right consistency of teh plum pudding -- a knowledge gleaned through the British Raj and the vibrant Anglo-Indian community. Kolkata, a city of political idealism and political kerfuffles. Kolkata, a city of fabulous food, madness, contradictions and great beauty to the eyes of a somewhat biased observer like me. However, partiality aside, here is a list of the top 25 things to do in the city, things that would complete any tourist's itinerary and remain the much-loved nostalgia-inspiring treats for an erstwhile Calcuttan returning to his or her home.

1. Have a cup of creamy Viennese Coffee and a sinful Strawberry Cube at Flury’s on Park Street. This must-have tea-time cake laden with marzipan, cream and all things nice accompanied by a cup of their signature brew will surely warm your cockles as well as give you a sense of the history of the place.

2. Take a boat ride on the Hooghly that snakes its way through the city. This is a great way to watch the life on the banks, unravelling before your eyes in a slow and unrushed manner. Late afternoon is the best time to hire one of the numerous noukas or country boats at the Princep Ghat. Watch the sky change colours as the boatman rows you into a golden sunset.

3. Go on a tonga ride around the Victoria Memorial in the evening. Best undertaken in winter, while this activity might be obviously touristy, there is some amount of charm in the ride around the greenest and prettiest part of the city. Take your loved one, climb on to the carriage and slip into another era. Tongas are available for hire in front of the Victoria Memorial.

4. Indulge in the unforgettable rich plum cake from Nahoums, an Armenian bakery in New Market which used to make the best Christmas cakes and remains a part of every Calcuttan's Christmas itinerary. While the last Armenian owner, David Nahoum recently passed away, his employees continue to keep his legacy alive and run this age-old establishment.

5. Catch the best live music in town at Someplace Else in the Park Hotel. This iconic bar has developed an identity of its own, nurturing new musicians and initiating generations of young people into the hallowed world of rock n roll. Whatever be your favoured style – blues, jazz, or good old-fashioned rock n roll, Someplace Else provides something for every kind of music aficionado.

6. Olypub is a dusty old character-laden bar on Park Street which is a good place to catch a quick beer and a fine Steak Chateaubriand. They grill this meat in magical ways and rare, medium or well done you are likely to get a surprisingly wonderful steak as well as some great conversation with the regulars who patronize the joint. While a recent fire shut the establishment, everyone is waiting for the pub to reopen.

7. Eat a chello kebab platter at Peter Cat , a food experience you cannot leave Calcutta without. This entirely appropriated version of an Irani classic withsucculent mutton/chicken kebabs on a skewer, buttery rice, roasted vegetables and an egg fried sunny side up on top, makes it a perfect symphony of flavours. No wonder hundreds of chello kebab platters roll out of the restaurant’s kitchens.

8. End a night out on town with the sumptuous Chinese Breakfast or Yum Cha at Tiretti Bazaar, Poddar Court. Freshly prepared by the Chinese community in the city, this breakfast includes everything from honeyed pork to succulent chicken buns. You have to be an early riser to catch it as the food is laid out around 5:30 am and finishes by 7 am.

9. Visit Kumartuli to check out this artisan community that showcases some of the most beautiful art work by local craftsmen, sculptors and potters as they make idols of gods and goddesses. Visit in the run-up to the Durga Puja to see the colony buzzing with activity.

10. Eat the typical and mouth-watering Kolkata-style biryani at Arsalan, complete with the saffron grains of rice, melt-the-mouth chunks of meat, whole fragrant potatoes and a boiled egg.

11. Indulge in a typically Calcutta midweek activity and visit either Saturday Club or Calcutta Cricket and Football Club (CCFC) for a lively bar night. These erstwhile colonial sports clubs have a relaxed charm and vibe that is entirely their own. You need to befriend a member to make your way into the club,s but once there just sit back, chat and drink the evening away.

12. Take a tram ride down Red Road, the central artery of the city. This is a lovely way of enjoying this laidback and historical city and the ride is through the Maidan, which is one of the greenest stretches in Kolkata.

13. Revisit Tagore’s life at the Jorasanko Thakur Bari, the ancestral home of the Tagores. The house has been restored and converted into a museum and gives visitors an insight into the life and influences of this noble father of Bengali art, music and culture.

14. Discover the marvellous architecture and history of the erstwhile zamindars, intellectuals and student revolutionaries on a North Kolkata walk. The labyrinthine lanes of the old city offer surprises at every turn and an organized walk by companies like Calcutta Walks or a resident who knows the history of the area can add value to your wanderings in this atmospheric part of the city.

15. Take a morning walk along the promenade of the vast Dhakuria Lake and follow it up with a lebu cha right outside any of the gates, a quintessential South Calcutta early morning experience.

16. Catch a play or film at Nandan, the epicentre of Calcutta’s cultural activities. The place is always buzzing with foreign film festivals, international dance performances and local, national and international theatre performances.

17. Visit a traditional fish market and watch the innumerable fresh fish on display as well as the whole process of assessing, bargaining and buying. Mornings at the Gariahat Market are a good time to experience an ordinary day in the life of a fish market.

18. Take in the imposing Gothic architecture of St Paul’s Cathedral in the heart of the city. The seat of the Anglican Diocese of Calcutta, this is a grand sprawling structure with an awe-inspiring midnight mass on Christmas eve.

19. Volunteer or simply visit Mother House, the headquarters of the Missionaries of Charity, which has great historical value as the one-time abode and resting place of Mother Teresa.

20. Don't miss a photo-op at the Malik Ghat flower market thriving on the banks of the Hooghly. This colourful mess of all kinds of beautiful fresh flowers, right below the Howrah Bridge is a sensory early morning experience.

21. Visit Calcutta University and Presidency College, world renowned academic institutions, which are worth a visit for their architectural styles. Take a walk down the corridors that have produced numerous eminent personalities. Both are on College Street

22. Victoria Memorial might be an odd relic from the Raj. but it is grand, opulent and worth a trip. Its lovely lawns under the shadow of a massive statue of Queen Victoria are a great picnic spot.

23. Give in to your religious side at the Kalighat temple. This chaotic and ancient temple is much venerated as one of the 51 Shakti peethas and is believed to be the spot where the toes of the Goddess Sati fell to earth.

24. Do not miss a football match in progress at one of the clubs in the Maidan to get a feel between the legendary rivalry between the Mohan Bagan and East Bengal football teams. The practice matches are usually free and there is a lot of good natured ribbing that goes on during the game as supporters gather on to cheer their favourites.

25. Stay at the Fairlawn Hotel which is renowned for its famous guests like Dominique Lapierre, Shashi Kapoor (there is a room named after him). The hotel has a cluttered Victorian air and till very recently, had a wonderful proprietor, the indomitable Mrs Violet Smith, who would watch over single female travelers with a watchful eye and would regale anyone willing to listen with stories of a bygone era.

(This was published in the New Indian Express Bangalore on 13 November 2014)